


this is not my world, you are

by spaceshuttles



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Alternate Ending, Love Confessions, M/M, Not Avengers: Endgame (Movie) Compliant, Not Canon Compliant, these old men figured it out
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-22
Updated: 2020-08-22
Packaged: 2021-03-07 00:41:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,185
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26048194
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spaceshuttles/pseuds/spaceshuttles
Summary: “Buck, god, I-,” Steve grabbed Bucky’s flesh hand in his own two and squeezed. “I worked so hard to find you and get you back. And now you’re here. Why the hell would I give that up?”-Endgame AU where Steve Rogers doesn't stay behind in the 50s and instead comes back to live in the present after returning the stones.
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers
Comments: 14
Kudos: 117





	this is not my world, you are

Steve shot up with a slight gasp, replanting his feet onto the portal and attempting to get his bearings once more. He glanced from Banner to Sam to Bucky, his eyes staying on the last man for a moment longer than the rest. Bucky held his gaze, one eyebrow cocking slightly upwards at the dazed look in Steve’s eyes.

As Steve stepped off the platform his time travel suit reverted back to his usual Captain America uniform. Once the Captain placed his briefcase back down Sam embraced him with a grin before holding him out at arm’s length. 

“You got the job done?” Sam questioned with a pat on his friend’s arm.

Steve nodded, some light returning to his eyes as he gave his friend a reassuring tap. “Smooth as expected,” he finally sighed out, eyes straying to Bucky once more.

As Sam stepped away from Steve, Bruce typed a few symbols into the machine before powering it down. “Everything looks to be in place on this end, Cap. Thanks for getting it all done.” He continued to close up the stand for the portal, preparing to get it back to the Avengers compound. “Say, what exactly went down? I know it was a tall order asking you to return all the stones, but you always pull through for us.”

“Yeah,” Sam added, “how’d you get everything done? I’m sure you needed to avoid some people like when you and Stark went back to New York.”

For a moment Steve appeared to be lost. He thought of seeing Peggy and her youthful face smiling at a charming Army officer. He thought of the knowing look the Ancient One gave him. He then grimaced at the cold exchange he shared with Red Skull, the monster of a man simply nodding and taking back what he was tasked with protecting. Steve really wished he had received a bit more of a warning when it came to Red Skull. At least he knew the man was eternally damned on Vormir.

Steve felt and looked as if he had lived a whole lifetime over, his unaged face unable to mask the years of experience hidden within his eyes. Though the whole stones exchange took just under a day of careful timing and planning in his perspective, it had felt as if he were living through all of the years and decades he skipped through.

Steve sighed at the memories, rubbing the back of his neck. “It’s a hell of a story. I’ll tell you guys about it over a couple drinks. Maybe some shawarma like the good ol’ days?”

Sam laughed softly, giving his friend one last pat. “I’ll hold you to that, Rogers,” the Air Force veteran jabbed. He then turned around to help Bruce with taking the equipment back to the compound nearby. 

Steve risked a glance at Bucky, seeing nothing but worry written across the other man’s face. He held his breath as he stood in place before letting out a quiet “give me a minute” and turning on his heel. He found a somewhat secluded bench, sitting down for what felt like the first time in decades. 

For a moment Steve was able to forget about everything he had gone through from being thawed out to leading the Avengers to meeting Thanos to somehow saving the entire universe. 

For a moment he just existed. 

Just a man. 

Nothing more, nothing less. Not a super soldier nor a sickly kid from the heart of Brooklyn. 

Brooklyn. 

Steve felt his heart gain weight as he thought of his mother and of how caring she was. He hoped she would be proud of all he had done. He allowed himself to smile as he thought of his mother being able to sit next to him and kissing him all over before sternly telling him that she didn’t like how he was running around risking his life like that and really, Steven Grant, you should be more careful.

God, he missed her. 

She loved so much and so fiercely. She loved him and their shitty apartment and the cats that would come and cry at their windowsill. She loved Brooklyn, despite the smog and cramped nature of it all, and she loved all of her patients, despite their sickness killing her. She loved her dead husband and the memories he left behind and she loved Bucky and the safety he granted on her only child.

Now Steve thought of Bucky and before he could think of their past he immediately thought that he had Bucky _now_. James Buchanan Barnes was _not_ just a memory that Steve would have to dig up anytime he was feeling particularly reminiscent but a living, breathing sign that everything he had done, everything he had sacrificed, was completely and utterly worth it.

Steve finally let himself sigh, feeling weight rise from his shoulders as he thought of peace and rest, if just for a bit, with the best man he knows. He leaned forward, elbows on his knees and palms on his forehead, thanking whatever was out there for placing him in the position he was in. After all he had been through, including meeting literal Asgardian gods, his faith was fairly rattled. He shut his eyes for a moment, breathing in deeply and relishing the fresh, green scent around him. 

A sad smile formed on his lips at the smell, reminding him of what he did after The Snap when he drove from state to state, stopping at all of the large tourist attractions he never had the time to see before. On some level it felt plain wrong. Why should he enjoy the nature of the world when the other half can’t as well? Yet it’s what grounded him. No car horns or cell phone buzzes or people having nothing but requests for him. Just he and nature, he and his thoughts.

Soft footsteps behind Steve had him open his eyes, but he still maintained his tired out yet relaxed posture. He didn’t need to turn around to know it was Bucky. “Y’know,” he began, “after everyone disappeared I drove across the country.” He sat up straighter then. “It was funny driving somewhere other than New York and having miles and miles of road to myself. At some point I found myself in Nebraska of all places and read a sign about the state’s national forest. It was about how some fella in 1902 got the bright idea to see if a man-made forest could survive on the Great Plains.” He could feel Bucky’s confusion but continued to speak. “He thought because there was evidence of a forest that grew there but died out a while ago that a new one could live in its place. So he went and planted a whole forest and who would have thought, over a 100 years later... it’s still thriving and beautiful.”

Steve swallowed, looking down again as he felt a lump forming in his throat. “Something about that forest stuck with me. It made me think that even if we went so long that there was barely any evidence of someone being missing, even if we completely changed the way we lived day to day, that someone, somewhere, would want to know what it was like when everyone was here and bring them back.” He chuckled a bit, “And that gave me hope. There had to be others thinking that way so when it came to Thanos I knew we wouldn’t be alone.” 

Steve was the type of guy who would give up his seat for anyone on the subway. He was the one person in existence who would stay behind after watching a bar fight and help the owner cleanup. He was always so giving and selfless which usually left him a little wound up. 

But now? Now Bucky didn’t know what to think of the relaxed and smiling man next to him. It reminded him of the relaxation he saw as he caught Steve and Peggy holding onto one another in an outpost tent all those decades ago, though it felt as if it were only a few years for him.

Bucky sighed lightly at that memory, glad that his friend had found someone who really loved him even though he remembered all too well the feeling of his chest tightening when he interrupted them. He shook the thought from his head and sat next to Steve, joining him in looking out at the green forestry. “Something tells me you didn’t return those stones all nice and neat.” That got a chuckle out of the Captain so he pressed on. “What did you do, Stevie?” he asked in a faux-scolding tone.

“I may have taken a slight detour while returning all the stones,” Steve responded with a soft smile. He could see from the corner of his eye Bucky’s curious face cocking an eyebrow. “I saw Peggy again.” He swallowed before continuing. “I missed her. And I could have stayed behind with her and lived the life I always thought I would. Hell, I’d probably be an old man by now.”

Bucky smirked, stretching his flesh arm into the sky and then threading his fingers in his lap. “Technically, we’re both old men even now.”

That made Steve laugh again and Bucky celebrated the small victory of making his friend smile. “Yeah, well, you know what I mean.” He knotted his eyebrows and raised an arm out in front of himself. “I could see that whole life with Peggy stretching out in front of me, like something out of a dream. But just as quickly as I thought of it I realized something: I didn’t want it. I _don’t_ want it.”

“What are you talking about?” Bucky asked him with confusion. “All you ever seem to get on about is getting that dance with her you always promised.”

“Buck, god, I-,” Steve grabbed Bucky’s flesh hand in his own two and _squeezed_. “I worked so hard to find you and get you back. And now you’re here. Why the hell would I give that up?”

Bucky’s chest tightened because no, _no_ , he was not going to let Steve give up on his dream just for him. “Hey, I’m fine now. I’m gonna be fine. Me and Sam no longer want to murder each other,” he said with a chuckle, “and T’Challa and Shuri have been great teachers when it comes to the new world.” He squeezed the hands back, almost pleading. “I’m sure you can still go back to her. Come on, Steve. We’ll grab Banner and- and you can head on back to your girl.” He felt his own heart ache as the words left his mouth.

Steve shook his head and lowered his gaze so he could focus on their hands together. He just needed something other than Bucky’s intense ocean eyes to look at or else he would lose his nerve. “That’s the thing, Buck. I know Peggy finds love and I know she lives a happy life where she makes a difference and has a family and I have no right to take that from her.” He looks back up, steely determination in his eyes. “And you know better than anyone that I’ve always wanted to make a difference and fight the good fight. _You_ taught me how to do that. How can I do any of that without my best man, huh?”

Bucky felt his throat tighten and laughed, sniffing slightly. “Stevie…”

“When I looked at that long, peaceful life spread out before me I was wishing it was with you,” Steve whispered as he blinked away tears. He let the statement hang in the air, basking in the relaxed feeling spreading throughout his body as he finally allowed his pent up truth to be set free. 

As the silence continued, blue eyes met blue, and in an unspoken agreement Bucky nodded and leaned his forehead onto Steve’s shoulder. He shut his eyes, finally, having a moment of rest. “That’s the greatest damn thing I’ve ever heard,” Bucky whispered in response, lacing their fingers together. “It took you long enough,” he said lightly, not knowing how else to recover than to poke fun at the other man.

Steve hummed and lifted his free hand up to wipe at his own eyes. “I think I’ve always known somewhere inside of me that it would be you. It was always you. I’m sorry it took so long for me to catch up.”

“You have nothing to be sorry about, Steve. What could we have done back in the 40s, anyway?” Bucky sighed and muttered into Steve’s palms as he brought them to his lips. “Maybe both of us losing time was meant to be in some screwed up way.” When he lifted his face from the man’s hands he could feel a stinging sensation building behind his eyes as he looked into Steve’s cool blue. “Can I kiss you? I’ve wanted to for what feels like a hundred years.” 

Steve messed up their first kiss from smiling too hard.

**Author's Note:**

> thank you to KMPC (iykyk) for reading this forever ago
> 
> The ending of Endgame where Steve Rogers stays back in the 50s or whatever?
> 
> I do not see it.


End file.
